Church is so difficult. It doesn't have to be, but I feel that the cause is mostly my fault. You see, I've hit an impasse with my desire to go. Maybe I've hit an impasse with my entire faith. Sometimes it seems like I'm at the edge of losing it, but pure stubbornness keeps me grounded. When I take a step back and look at the universe, I know there is a God, the one of scripture, the Alpha and Omega. As Jon Cussack says, 'you have to have a pretty big ego to think that there's nothing more than us.' Philosophically, theologically, rationally, God exists. So I'm forced to conclude that I'm undergoing a spiritual rut brought on by my selfish attitude. I have forsaken discipline for lethargy, because that way I won't have to deal with people. Ironically people are what make me tick. I need to become more motivated.
I need passion back in my life. Is there anything in this world that will drive to progress?
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